Lesson 9 – Sticky Situations

What types of situations make you feel uncomfortable? (For example, going to a party or a large reception alone.) Have you ever had to deal with a situation where people were feeling uncomfortable? Who took charge? What did that person do?

How can we put others at ease? One of the reasons we are nervous is because we concentrate on us (the speaker) rather than other people (our audience). Putting the emphasis on the other person can help us forget about our own nervousness.

Other methods can include: Get them talking about themselves or do what we might do if we were hosts in our own home (help them mix in with others and see that they have food and drink).

Sometimes we are the one responsible for a difficult situation. How can we face the music ourselves? We can learn how to apologize with grace, and let other people know we regret what we said/did. Perhaps you got impatient, or snapped at someone, or spoke rudely. An apology is in order.

Turning Negatives into Positives

Do you have examples of some negative situations that could be viewed positively if you reframed the situation? How do we stop seeing the glass as half empty? Learn to laugh at yourself. It isn’t hard but it does take practice. An old saying is, “Angels fly because they take themselves lightly.” If this isn’t something you will be still fretting about a year from now, it isn’t worth fretting about at all. Besides, every cloud does have a silver lining. We learn our most valuable lessons from our mistakes.

In order to stop thinking about ourselves, it does help to be wearing clothes we feel good in. We don’t need a closet crammed full of clothes. We just need a few outfits that fit us, and that look good on us. Details like sleeves that are too long, shoes that need polish, or fingernails that should be cleaned can mar an otherwise great outfit.

Go through your closet. Look critically at what you wear.

  • Do these clothes suit you?
  • Do they feel comfortable on you?
  • Do they fit?

If you answer yes to all three questions, great! Take care of these clothes. If you answered no, give them away to charity and buy clothes you can forget about once you put them on.

Here are some more tips for looking professional:

  • Dress the way you want to be perceived. Look like you care about what you are doing.
  • Dress comfortably and be proud of who you are.
  • Always appear as neat and clean as possible: hair that is clean and neatly trimmed, fingernails that are clean and neatly trimmed, and shoes that are clean and polished.
  • Look trim. If you aren’t slender, choose clothes carefully.
  • Be sure clothing fits properly. You will not feel good and you won’t look good if your clothes are too tight.
  • Don’t appear too fashion conscious and don’t spend a lot of money trying to keep up with trends.
  • Know the colours and styles that suit you, and stick to them.